In our first exhibit, we see that illustrious toiler, the Slave Who Saves, the man without whom we could not be here today, Runaway Daniel Bernhardt, in a bit of a spot on the otherwise idyllic Venice Beach, California. Cast out from his underground garden, Bernhardt, named it seems not idly or without due cause, is indeed on the run, attempting to elude the sinister snares of an evil cyborg and his robotic dinosaur, both under the control of vicious, time-mad scientist Robert Z'Dar, head of that nefarious cesspit, Cyberdyne Systems. To what awful and dizzying depths of treachery and cunning will they not stoop? Folks, I think we will not soon see their bottom.
As you can see, this dinosaur, Cyberdyne Systems model T.Rex2, a prototype, is actually fairly small, a tiny but still terrible lizard, not cold blooded but well-oiled and of approximately the same size as a Saint Bernard or a Dalmatian. Remember, folks, it would be a really vicious Saint Bernard or Dalmatian, the kind you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley, not even during the day.
Of course, no dinosaurs, Dalmatians, or Saint Bernards, but plenty of dire wolves, mammoths, and short-faced bears--even a living and breathing human being, the same “Runaway Daniel Bernhardt” seen in the slideshow--were found in the La Brea tar pits during the periodically controversial but consistently sensational excavations of the 1930s--when and where this whole mess got started. You see, in the mid-30s, the tar pits began yielding up their tarnished treasures to pernicious scientists like the prodigiously visaged, cyborg-scheming Robert Z'Dar, spitting up apparently prelapsarian beasts at an astonishing rate, prey and predator alike: sometimes, it seemed, in the very act of hunting and being hunted. Archaeologists and soon paleontologists were thrilled by this seeming science fiction: it seemed too good to be true! Perhaps it was: it was like traveling back through time, as they told it, back to well over ten thousand years ago. An impossibility? Not as they saw it.