The scientists were greatly puzzled by something else, too--this man, to all appearances substantial, if somewhat the opposite in conversation, cast no shadow. Now, this would have been puzzling in any circumstance, but given the simultaneous occurrence of the man's apparently superhuman longevity, these natural scientists naturally wondered if this lack of shadow was wrapped up somehow in that nine thousand-year lifespan. They could find no logical or biological reason for this bizarre freak; it wasn't a trick of the light, no angle and no incandescence could educe more than a squint in their heathen Methusaleh. So how was it he cast no shadow?

If he had chosen to talk, King's English or that of the knave, breaking that swiftly cribbed and self-sworn covenant, Runaway Daniel Bernhardt, hearing the scientists' estimates of his great age, probably would have explained that he had lost his shadow in the calamitous Great Wave, if only to give them their just fillip. You see, he had grave doubts about the secular scientists' theory of Entrapment, doubts, also, about the ridiculous lengths they went to constructing their timelines, doubts about the lengths in themselves and independent of what use they were put to. Indeed, he had cause to doubt, as will be seen. He might have simultaneously overturned spectacular claims made by geologists about the nearby (if they would have it so, then let it be so: everything is relative) Grand Canyon and those of his pestilential scientists with the persuasive power of a single Great Wave that--what do you know?--was already in the history books. In the most important one, anyway.

Entrapment, a theory, cannot be proven--there was no one there!--whereas there is some evidence of a Great Flood, given by the people who were there, passed down to us on sacred pages. "Why," Bernhardt might have told them if he had found his tongue, "it must have been pulled clean off me by that Great Wave and then trapped in those tar pits that I fell in while I was trying to swim to land."

For all you kids that would like to hear more about Runaway Daniel Bernhardt's shadow, click here. The rest of you can move on to the second exhibit, "Runaway Daniel Bernhardt Studied by Scientists."