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The Story of Runaway Daniel Bernhardt's Shadow:

It has been said that Br'er Rabbit, the old scoundrel himself, was trapped in the La Brea Tar Pits when, passing by on his way to get a drink of water from that great big Pacific Ocean Br'er Fox was always talking up, he tried to engage the shadow of Runaway Daniel Bernhardt in an argument about the age of the tar pits.

"Couldn't be that old," said Br'er Rabbit, "noway, nohow. Couldn't possibly. Don't you know the Bible? Don't you know ain't nothing that old? Everything was created just about six thousand years ago."

Runaway Daniel Bernhardt's shadow didn't say a word.

"You listen here, tar baby: I don't acare about no speciation and no genetic drift nohow. Just you read the Good Book."

Runaway Daniel Bernhardt's shadow still said nothing.

"Are you deaf, tar baby?" asked Br'er Rabbit, getting closer. "Cause if you are, I can shout plenty louder you know."

Runaway Daniel Bernhardt's shadow still said nothing.

"You are just stuck up, that's all. Just stuck up and you don't know how old you are anyhow, and I'm going to teach you how to respect other people by bopping you on your tar baby head," said Br'er Rabbit, and bopped Runaway Daniel Bernhardt's shadow right on its head.

Well now, don't you know that shadow wasn't nothing but tar, and Br'er Rabbit's hand got itself all caught up in Runaway Daniel Bernhardt's shadow so that he couldn't get it out no matter how hard he tugged. He tugged and he tugged, but it just stuck fast to that shadow.

Br'er Rabbit figured to get himself some leverage, and put his big old foot right up against that shadow's chest. Now he pulled and he pulled and he pulled some more, until his hand was almost free, but it was stuck so good that he had to take himself a break. And when he fixed himself to sit down, wouldn't you know it, his foot was stuck, too.

Well, he had no choice but to use his other hand to pull off that foot, and that ended up just getting Br'er Rabbit more stuck on that shadow, and then he had to use his other foot to get that out, and then finally there wasn't no Br'er Rabbit anymore that wasn't part of that shadow, and if you had been passing by, you wouldn't have remarked any Br'er Rabbit at all because all there was was Runaway Daniel Bernhardt's shadow and nothing else at all.